What is the thinnest layer of the earth?
“It’s the crust.” I tell my seatmate. You know, it’s just another usual scene of never raising my hand even though I know the answer because, I just don’t have the courage to speak up.
Is that you? Well if it is you, then you are mistaken because that was me.
See that ‘was’? That’s not an error because even though I’m still not totally confident, didn’t they say that the first step in changing something is to start at it? And when you start something, then that something is you now.
And because I have taken the first step, I am starting, and by starting, the right tense to use for what I used to be is now in the past.
But what exactly changed my perspective?
A simple sentence my mom told me as I told her this struggle I have.
As there are weird and different things in our peculiar lives, I was blessed with the confidence of talking to strangers but having complete fright when I’m in front of my own classmates, people who have been with me for quite some years now.
Ironic? Maybe, but for most of my life, I didn’t know that there was anything wrong with that thinking.
I was always afraid of changing who I am in fear that people will think of me weirdly, that these classmates of mine will be shocked by the sudden change when I show what I really feel. And when I don’t always agree with their perspective, they might think that I’m not one with them.
That I’m different, and that being a bad different.
Because of all that, I never realized that by thinking always of what others would think of me, I have now imprisoned myself within the person they knew, the person I was before.
By doing that, I never stopped from changing, –everyone grows and matures after all– I just wasn’t able to bring out this growing person to others.
In other words, I became my own prisoner.
So what really is that simple sentence?
“Let others judge you.”
Maybe not what you were expecting were you? Me too because I never thought of it, but when I heard it, I immediately reflected on it as my mother talked to me and knew that this was gold mine. Just the sentence I badly needed to hear.
Other people would say that when others judge you, we should pay no attention to them, and I really wanted to follow the rule.
Except I can’t, because no matter how hard I try, the unspoken words from the looks of my classmates will linger in the back of my mind, always taunting me.
I may say that I’m not paying attention but because I’m still listening, that means I want to change something in me every time I hear them, or sense them say something bad about me.
What makes my mother’s sentence reign over all those other quotable quotes on learning to be confident is not just because it came from my own mother but because of the essence of a simple word shifting.
By telling me to let people just judge me and know that I can never stop them from doing it, I am now able to do what I was not able to do so before. After all, don’t we all subconsciously judge others from time to time too?
Yes, I’m still not perfectly capable of handling my fears in front of crowds to be able to do my best, for example, in public speaking, but at least, I’m now more confident than I’ve ever been before.
Because of that sentence, I realized that I should really just let other people judge me because no matter what image I want them to see me in, –yes, that might work but I’m never going to be really happy because once I step out of that pre-defined image–, the fear of their judgment will make me step back in the line I drew before.
Having a certain image you want people to see you in will only mean work because of the steps that you have to remember to take just to do the perfect illusion and still, nothing would even matter because you will never be remembered as the person you really are.
Most of all too, you will never be truly happy.
But now, once I finally just let others judge me for being the real me, their stares and the negative adjectives wouldn’t matter so much because I am finally free from my own hiding and from others’ judgments even though I know that I’m not perfect.
After all, I can’t be real if everyone likes me.
My challenge for you now, when you will be finally free of insecurities, of rules, of judgment, and of yourself?
Since we are in this life together, I will give you some tips, and there are only a few of them in the process so they may sound easy, but I guarantee you, unless you really want this, you might never be able to do it 100%.
The first one: Realize that you are perfectly imperfect. You’re not perfect, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less than anyone else.
Rule no. 2: Let others judge you. Just let them judge you, nobody’s gonna die just because somebody thinks you’re ugly. You’re not ugly, they just don’t see your beauty because let me tell you straight up, a judgmental person does not look at the bright side of things, they focus only on the flaws.
Rule no. 3: Love yourself. No, I am not telling you to be narcissistic, but please, remember that even though life might take away the people who love you, or the beauty that some people admire you for, what you should never let life take away is your love and respect for your own self.
The world may leave you on your knees, remember that you will always have your feet to put you back up on the ground.
That is all I leave with you, lovely readers.
If you find this helpful, why not share it someone you know who needs a wake-up call like I did? Or if it’s you, tell me in the comments, what do you feel now? I’d love to listen to your thoughts. No one will ever judge you for commenting here.
You’ll actually make someone really happy if you do. That someone being me. Come on, don’t let your precious thoughts go to waste, share them while you still can.
Hugs and kisses,